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[... ah, fuck.

that's definitely registering and his cheeks burn a little because... Mars was over the night before, said things were fine. and he had mentioned Lily's feelings before, but also this really isn't??? a good time???

then again, Joker'd be a hypocrite if he said that because uh. his methods of coping sometimes.]

... I'm really glad. I don't want you to ever feel that way.

[except it comes out a little bit strangled and welp, time to take hold of Lily's hand with the bottle so he can also take a swig from it--not taking it away from Lily but. also. he's buying time. to think what the right course of action here is.]

[Lily is the one being overt here and even HE doesn't know if this is a good time. his feelings are all over the place...

he takes another swig himself when Joker is done, and his cheeks are beginning to burn pleasantly with the warmth of the alcohol. that's probably another reason he ought not to right now, in case Joker thinks it's the alcohol talking, but... god. he doesn't know.

he kind of wants to kiss Joker. is that a bad decision right now? probably. hesitantly, curiously, he starts to shift in Joker's lap, turning to face him more, but doesn't make a further move... yet? he's so confused.]

[cheeks are definitely still flushed, but Joker's not looking away. in fact, he brings a hand up to cup Lily's cheek, thumb brushing against his skin.

he thinks it's so unfair that he is nervous about this or that he's also wanting to kiss Lily, but then it just kind of... comes out:]

How do I make you feel?

[he just. really needs to hear it from Lily.]

[Lily's eyes close as Joker strokes his cheek, leaning into his touch a little. as he speaks, he looks back at Joker through the veil of long lashes, hand moving to rest on top of Joker's.]

You make it easy to feel like we're anywhere but here.

[his voice is soft, and as he looks at Joker, he can barely even hear the music, his heart was pounding so hard in his ears.]

You make me feel happy. Feel like I can be stronger than I am. There are things you have that I lack, and I feel like maybe I can be that way too, when I'm with you.

[he and Mars both -- he had a type, apparently. but he knows what words Joker wanted to hear:]

I like you, Joker. A lot.

[those are, in fact, the words he wanted to hear

and he knows he should probably also explain his feelings, too, but he's always been more the sort to speak with his actions, and moving in to kiss Lily is exactly what he wants to do just after hearing that.]

[Lily's melts against Joker's mouth and kisses him back softly, draping his arms around his shoulders and adjusting himself so his legs wind around Joker's waist.

this isn't their first kiss — they kissed once what felt like an age ago, when Lily was fresh and new, for a brief and chaste moment that meant nothing to either of them besides a point to their kiss tallies. this time was significantly different, Lily's heart was aflutter and his stomach was flip flopping excitedly, and for a moment, he forgot why they were here. what he had lost. the only thing that mattered right now was the fact that Joker was kissing him, and he sighs happily against his mouth.]

[Joker's own heart is pounding with the excitement of knowing that this is a game changer, that Lily is contently in his arms and kissing him and hopefully thoroughly distracted from the sad things that's outside the cottage. even with that excitement, though, he's keeping it easy and light, not wanting to push.

he also has no idea what song is playing over the headphones right now but when he does draw back just enough so they can catch their breaths and he can speak, it doesn't really seem that intrusive. seems to help urge him on to run his hand along Lily's cheek and into his hair.]

You... [he sound shaky to his own ear, airy but not distant as he focuses on Lily.] Have been there for me... when I was falling apart. Accepted the bad and the ugly... and gave me a place to hide away when I just couldn't--

[ah, no. it seems this is a bit more emotional than he can manage in one shot, so leaning his forehead against Lily's like he can somehow just osmosis over his feelings.]

[it's hard not to be distracted when you're in the lap of someone you really like, kissing them, feeling content and happy and warm and just accepted, and Lily can't help but smile softly once they pull apart. he takes in a shaky breath of his own, eyes closing for a moment as he feels Joker's hand trail across his skin and into his hair, cheeks reddened for reasons beyond the alcohol they had consumed.]

I always want to be there for you, Joker.

[he replies softly, reaching forward to cup Joker's cheek in his hand, thumb running along the curve of his cheek bone]

You're important to me. I care about you, your well-being. If I can help you, even in the smallest of ways, I will.

[tilts his face into the touch, kissing at the hand when he can. words still coming out in a murmur, though really he doesn't have to worry about being overheard. cabins are good for this.]

I just want to... return the favor. Be as strong as you think I am.

[because it frequently doesn't feel that way--that he is, but god, people thinking he can be--or is makes him want to try for it.]

[his free hand moves to press softly over Joker's heart, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt]

You have strength of heart. You don't have to feel strong all the time to still be strong... if that makes any sense. Just... be you. That's all I need.

... I guess I have a better idea of who that is, thanks in part to you.

[this is one of the sappiest things he has ever said, like. really up there.

but it just means he needs to follow it up with a kiss.]

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