[but that doesn't mean she's not going to have to fight tears, her eyes squeeze shut and the bitterness and mourning and anger intensify]
One of the women I saw him kill. Turns out she was my mom. Morgana told me she was gone during my first bad game without going into details... but I never could've dreamed this shit up. Someone I thought might be a friend here ended up killing the only real family I had back home. [gives a harsh bark of laughter through the crying that sounds very un-Gadget like and almost animal] Oh and for bonus points he and the dicks he was working with passed off her death to everyone as a suicide, which they then believed I drove her to, placing all the blame on me. Isn't that just so clever of him.
[probably the lack of surprise gives away the fact that he did... know some of the stuff about her family situation. but there's still the sinking sadness and helplessness knowing there's not much that can be done to fix it...
and also the conflicted feeling of knowing A's side of it due to... Shido things.
but mostly, the worry and concern are just ramped up.
she good for a hug? 'cause... he's not sure what else to do with all of this, yet.]
[she will accept the hug because she's doesn't know where to go from here either
it's impossible to notice his lack of shock even if there's the appropriate amount of misery being experienced but she doesn't know how to ask what it all means just yet
there's also a sense of dread and resignation because A mentioned that her telling Joker wouldn't change anything and she's starting to think he knew what he was talking about]
... before you woke up here, I'd just gotten some memories back about how we met and what all that meant, mostly. I was gonna ask if you wanted to know about it but...
[things kept happening
he feels that dread and resignation and there's a sense of worn fatigue]
And you might think I'm going to back A in this or something, but I'm not. And I'm not going to ask you to change your feelings on him, either. However you want to handle it, I'll back you up.
I've already killed him a bunch in this place... there was even a time when we all thought he killed all of us...
[yeah. it's. a complicated relationship, actually.]
There's never going to be an easy time to talk about stuff, I don't think. I'd still be interested in any additional data relevant to me.
[a pang of sympathy at his fatigue]
Thanks. [she really is thankful but it's faint under all the turmoil] I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I want to get back at him so badly but nothing would be enough. [beat] And I don't want to end up like him, motivated by awful parts of myself.
[blinking at the last part bewildered]
Wait, you've killed him!? More than once too? WTF...
[there is some... dark amusement but also just more Tired as he gives her hair a pet.]
There was some game-induced insanity and mild ghost possession that enabled some of that... but A and I never really went easy on each other, earlier on.
And it's good that you don't want that for yourself.
I won't excuse him for his own actions... but earlier when you said "people he worked with"--that's not quite right. It was "person he worked for". And he mostly worked for this guy so he could get close enough to get revenge against him.
[except while there's some kind of deep, dark anger at the person A worked for, there's still that Complicated feelings--it's not wholly for A. it's... clearly more personal.]
I can't really say I'm much better... but I can at least encourage better ways to handle it, if you need that.
[accepting the comforting gesture but she's not really calming down]
Ghost possession sounds cool in theory but obviously it wasn't in practice. It's crazy that you got from that point to where you are with each other now.
[there's a blink and you'll miss it flash of jealousy, also plenty of puzzlement about what he sees in A, but she pushes on]
I know, I know. A told me the basics about his daddy issues but that doesn't make my mom less dead. Or him less responsible for that matter.
[she notices that the anger towards A's father is... complex but doesn't say anything about it, just observes Joker as he speaks]
I'm open to suggestions. I want to believe there's a better way of handling this than killing him repeatedly until I'm satisfied.
[her voice makes it sound like a joke but she's... she's pretty serious]
mostly, he's just kind of blinking with mild confusion because did he really feel that jealousy or...? but he puts it aside for the moment, thinking things over.]
If another heart game was run... maybe we could do something about things there. But they don't let us have access very often, and... well. It's less "heart" and more "memory and soul" here, if that makes sense.
Same general concept, though. Even people without palaces get dragged into it.
Beyond that... I dunno. He makes it real hard because he goes full-throttle self-destructive rather than admit he feels bad for any of it. Or... feels bad about not feeling bad, I guess. Which isn't very satisfying, either.
[complicated. situation. why does his Justice arcana make getting justice so hard?]
2/2
One of the women I saw him kill. Turns out she was my mom. Morgana told me she was gone during my first bad game without going into details... but I never could've dreamed this shit up. Someone I thought might be a friend here ended up killing the only real family I had back home. [gives a harsh bark of laughter through the crying that sounds very un-Gadget like and almost animal] Oh and for bonus points he and the dicks he was working with passed off her death to everyone as a suicide, which they then believed I drove her to, placing all the blame on me. Isn't that just so clever of him.
no subject
and also the conflicted feeling of knowing A's side of it due to... Shido things.
but mostly, the worry and concern are just ramped up.
she good for a hug? 'cause... he's not sure what else to do with all of this, yet.]
no subject
it's impossible to notice his lack of shock even if there's the appropriate amount of misery being experienced but she doesn't know how to ask what it all means just yet
there's also a sense of dread and resignation because A mentioned that her telling Joker wouldn't change anything and she's starting to think he knew what he was talking about]
no subject
[things kept happening
he feels that dread and resignation and there's a sense of worn fatigue]
And you might think I'm going to back A in this or something, but I'm not. And I'm not going to ask you to change your feelings on him, either. However you want to handle it, I'll back you up.
I've already killed him a bunch in this place... there was even a time when we all thought he killed all of us...
[yeah. it's. a complicated relationship, actually.]
no subject
[a pang of sympathy at his fatigue]
Thanks. [she really is thankful but it's faint under all the turmoil] I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I want to get back at him so badly but nothing would be enough. [beat] And I don't want to end up like him, motivated by awful parts of myself.
[blinking at the last part bewildered]
Wait, you've killed him!? More than once too? WTF...
[complicated is an understatement]
no subject
There was some game-induced insanity and mild ghost possession that enabled some of that... but A and I never really went easy on each other, earlier on.
And it's good that you don't want that for yourself.
I won't excuse him for his own actions... but earlier when you said "people he worked with"--that's not quite right. It was "person he worked for". And he mostly worked for this guy so he could get close enough to get revenge against him.
[except while there's some kind of deep, dark anger at the person A worked for, there's still that Complicated feelings--it's not wholly for A. it's... clearly more personal.]
I can't really say I'm much better... but I can at least encourage better ways to handle it, if you need that.
no subject
Ghost possession sounds cool in theory but obviously it wasn't in practice. It's crazy that you got from that point to where you are with each other now.
[there's a blink and you'll miss it flash of jealousy, also plenty of puzzlement about what he sees in A, but she pushes on]
I know, I know. A told me the basics about his daddy issues but that doesn't make my mom less dead. Or him less responsible for that matter.
[she notices that the anger towards A's father is... complex but doesn't say anything about it, just observes Joker as he speaks]
I'm open to suggestions. I want to believe there's a better way of handling this than killing him repeatedly until I'm satisfied.
[her voice makes it sound like a joke but she's... she's pretty serious]
no subject
mostly, he's just kind of blinking with mild confusion because did he really feel that jealousy or...? but he puts it aside for the moment, thinking things over.]
If another heart game was run... maybe we could do something about things there. But they don't let us have access very often, and... well. It's less "heart" and more "memory and soul" here, if that makes sense.
Same general concept, though. Even people without palaces get dragged into it.
Beyond that... I dunno. He makes it real hard because he goes full-throttle self-destructive rather than admit he feels bad for any of it. Or... feels bad about not feeling bad, I guess. Which isn't very satisfying, either.
[complicated. situation. why does his Justice arcana make getting justice so hard?]