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[criminaljustice]

This is Boss AKA Joker AKA "Prisoner". Leave a message.

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[rollplayinghouse]

Mm, right.

Well...

...he's...

[she turns red as she trails off, unsure how to start now that she's gotten this far]

[criminaljustice]

... so I'm pretty sure you definitely took his V-card now.

[you left this wide open with that pause. teasing cannot help but happen]

[rollplayinghouse]

[!!! /////]

I-I mean... It's... I don't know that he didn't... before...

[criminaljustice]

I mean... can you think of anyone else he would have with?

[he'll wait.]

[rollplayinghouse]

Man Eater.

[it doesn't actually take her long to come up with this]

[criminaljustice]

I guess you can always ask him.

[his face would be fucking priceless, Boss is sad he'll never see it.

time to pull Maki over so they can sit and be comfortable, looking very much humored.]

Anyway, sexcapades aside, it sounds like you managed to get passed all his corporate speak and into the real heart of things.

[rollplayinghouse]

[huffs out the last of her embarrassment and then settles in next to him]

Yeah... more or less. I mean, it still takes some interpretation, but he definitely cares about me. He's... been there for me, more than once. And let me be there for him.

...And, he... makes me really happy?

[criminaljustice]

I'm glad.

I know it's been kind of back and forth with... coping and trauma and stuff between us--and mostly on my end. So I'm really glad there's someone you can turn to during all of that.

[rollplayinghouse]

It's not—that I need him to fill in because you've been neglectful, or anything.

[criminaljustice]

[huffs a laugh.]

That's not what I'm saying.

You have your own relationship with him and he makes you happy and can be there for you if and when I can't. That's all I mean.

[rollplayinghouse]

...Yeah. He's really important to me, so...

[makes a noise in her throat. this is embarrassing]

Do you know he ran out of objections on why he wasn't my boyfriend other than "but I don't want the title"?

[criminaljustice]

... why do I feel like "I don't want to share a title with Boss" is part of it...

[rollplayinghouse]

I'm sure that's some of it. Plus, if he was on the same playing field with you and A he'd have to make sure he was winning.

[criminaljustice]

... ah. Yeah. That'd get messy fast.

Considerate. I never see that side of him.

[rollplayinghouse]

...You have to be looking for it.

[criminaljustice]

... pretty sure it's also because he hates my guts and think I'm useless or out to sabotage him.

[rollplayinghouse]

Maybe. But you also think the worst of him a lot.

[criminaljustice]

... I mean. Only when he's being authoritative.

[rollplayinghouse]

He's authoritative almost all the time, even for things that he has no actual authority over, and sometimes things that are blatantly false. You can't take that too seriously.

[criminaljustice]

That's not really what I mean.

[taps fingers against his chin, trying to think of how to explain...

...

ah, wait, he knows.]

He and A are pretty similar in how they look at me when they're angry with me. Though his is colder than A's.

[rollplayinghouse]

He and A are similar in a lot of ways. When they feel vulnerable, which includes having any kind of feeling they don't understand, they lash out with whatever they've got. You can't just take them at their word in those situations, because they're not trying to express their real feelings, they're trying to hide them.

[criminaljustice]

Don't worry. A made that very clear recently.

[cold as ice.]

[rollplayinghouse]

[mmmm]

Yeah, I talked to A about it a bit.

[criminaljustice]

[lifts his hands]

Same MO, same situation you described, but what you're getting at with that is I'm supposed to... what? Just accept what they say and do? Not get angry? Be the bigger man since I have emotional competence advantage and just shrug it off and call their bluff?

I can't always be the emotionally competent one, Maki. Sometimes I'm the one who's wanting to bust people's faces in to get back even an ounce of control.

[rollplayinghouse]

No, that's not the only problem there. He's doing it in reverse, too. It's like he won't believe anything you say about your feelings is true no matter what. He was sure you're just trying to trick him or something. Even showing it with your actions hasn't helped, he acts like you're just waiting for your chance to abandon him.

I don't... know how to fix that.