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[criminaljustice]

This is Boss AKA Joker AKA "Prisoner". Leave a message.

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[criminaljustice]

Joker: what did you do

[foolmetwice]

Mars: what if i’m bleeding out in an alleyway somewhere, joker

[criminaljustice]

Joker: then you'd be contacting a sensitIV
Joker: a Bad Ender only gets called when potentially bad decisions are made

[ok maybe not true but like... it pans out]

[foolmetwice]

[he]

[he can’t even deny it]






Mars: that’s not why i’m texting you

[criminaljustice]

Joker: just spill the deets

[foolmetwice]

Mars: i have too many feelings

[criminaljustice]

[...]

Joker: you're going to have to be more specific

1/4

[foolmetwice]

[UGH. . .]

[Mars is typing. . . for a very long time]

Mars: this might be awkward
Mars: but fox and prim are both great
Mars: being around them and having them believe in me even though i’m an asshole kind of
Mars: makes me want to be less of an asshole?
Mars: but fox is in love with you
Mars: and prim is sorta involved with fox
Mars: and that’s fine
Mars: i’m happy for them
Mars: i’m okay with just being friends
Mars: it’s fine

[foolmetwice]

Mars: and i know we don’t really talk about the buddy bond outside of being really really high and thus without inhibitions but uuuuuuh ANYWAY

[JOKER. . . HAS FELT THOSE FEELINGS. . .]

[foolmetwice]

[. . .]

[no let’s not address Maki]

DONE....

[foolmetwice]

Mars: anyway, the point is, anyone i’ve kinda had a thing for has been off limits, stay with me i’m going somewhere with this

[criminaljustice]

[... this is the worst pseudo-confession...]

Joker: ok...
Joker: you say off-limits but
Joker: none of those people are in exclusive relationships
Joker: you know that, right?

[foolmetwice]

[Joker deserves better]

Mars: yeah
Mars: i know
Mars: preeeeetty sure i’m in no place to handle that kind of arrangement myself though
Mars: i didn’t even realize nya and i were friends because he didn’t explicitly call us friends until he got upset that i let maki kill him in the game
Mars: what makes you think i can date anyone or be involved with someone dating someone ELSE if i can’t even do friendship right????

[criminaljustice]

[tell that to him and he will laugh his ass off

and ho boy. more reasons Tatsuya and Maki are gonna have issues with each other, he just knows it. thanks for the head's up, Mars]

Joker: i dunno
Joker: i don't even know why you'd think I'd be any help?
Joker: i literally had a break up a few days ago because i wasn't being a good enough boyfriend because I was trying too hard to be a good boyfriend

[it... yeah.]

[foolmetwice]

[JOKER DESERVES BETTER >8(]

Mars: being broken up with doesn’t mean you were a bad boyfriend
Mars: it just means it wasn’t working out
Mars: simple incompatibility, you know?
Mars: though it still sucks and i’m sorry

[criminaljustice]

[PRETTY SURE PART OF THAT WAS HIM FUCKING IT UP THO?]

Joker: still doesn't answer why you think i'd be able to help
Joker: but anyway, if you're not wigging out about the "off-limits", what are you wigging out about?

[foolmetwice]

[FUCKING UP DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON UNDESERVING OF RELATIONSHIP THINGS]

Mars: . . . . . . . . . . lily. . . .

[criminaljustice]

[... wow. ur a dork.]

Joker: good choice
Joker: wishing you all the best

[foolmetwice]

Mars: augh i’m not texting you for well wishes!!!




Mars: help

[criminaljustice]

Joker: just tell him how you feel, you doof

[foolmetwice]

Mars: I DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL

[criminaljustice]

Joker: well, what sparked the alarm?

[foolmetwice]

[sssssigh]

Mars: someone drew this stupid comic about our ghost hunting adventures
Mars: it ended about how you’d expect
Mars: after the mistletoe game lily joked that he was available for no-strings attacked kissing if i wanted it
Mars: but it was a joke so i didn’t think about it
Mars: after reading the dumb comic he joked again about how some fans were apparently tuned in to our post-game conversation
Mars: he started teasing me about his offer and i kissed him to call his stupid bluff





Mars: . . . which was not really a bluff?

[criminaljustice]

[. . .]

Joker: you're such an idiot
Joker: i don't think Lily was ever joking about that offer
Joker: you absolute fool
Joker: anyway, if you liked kissing him so much
Joker: just tell him that?

[foolmetwice]

Mars: no

[MARS????]